Way To Go
by just-a-shadow-of-death
Summary: Sherlock was in an abusive relationship once. Now he is afraid to move on with another. ll/Sherlock /Bellock


_Sherlock never talks about his abusive ex -boyfriend._

_He never talks about the iron grip on his shoulder, the pulling of his hair, the choke hold or even the punching and kicking and dragging. He never talks about this at all. _

_He can fool everyone. He can walk a straight lie and keep walking without anyone thinking otherwise. He is used to it._

_Sherlock pretends it never happened. The naïve two years he spent with a man named Edward. The years that oppressed him for so long. The long nights of torment, the forced sex and the fake love confessions. _

_He knew about the fever; the physical and verbal abuse, he was very well aware of the nightmare he was living in. This wasn't normal._

_But he just couldn't get away. He was trapped._

_He had tried to tell him. He wanted this relationship to be over, get out of the house, or simply ask him to stop hitting him. But talks like those only made him end up in his bedroom with darker bruises._

_Sherlock had come home late one time. Edward had waited. The bitter look on his face had startled Sherlock. Not even a few steps into the house; he wanted to turn back around and run but he didn't. He figured it would be best to talk to him. _

_Edward didn't listen. As soon as Sherlock came within few inches; a blow to his stomach sent him to the floor. Sherlock cried out. Clutching his stomach and looking up with damp and frightened eyes. He was afraid of that temper, that voice and those hands that seemed to be made of iron. He felt a hand on his shoulder and soon enough, he was standing face to face with Edward._

"_It's about to be one," As if the furious look on his face wasn't enough; Edward screamed at him. Sherlock winced and pulled._

"_There was a murder and - "_

"_I DON'T CARE."_

"_Edward, Please," Sherlock begged, flinching away from the next blow that hit his face. "Please, stop!" his voice weak and breaking._

"_No." _

_He was thrown to the floor. Repeated kicks sent Sherlock into an uncontrollable sobbing. He fought back but only for a few seconds before Edward punched him back into submission._

"Sherlock," Voice became soft.

"Sherlock?" he repeated again.

"Sher-"

"What?" Sherlock asked abruptly. Looking from his half empty glass and towards Detective Bell.

The detective looked at him oddly; as if something was wrong. "You seemed distracted."

"Oh – I wasn't distracted." Sherlock corrected, "I'm just not interested."

The detective looked at him keenly, "But it's a double homicide-"

The detective continued talking but Sherlock looked at him contemplating. He wasn't invited to dinner; in a luxurious five star restaurant for 'a case'. No, this was a date. "You didn't bring me here for the unfortunate murders that took place."

"Umm, yeah."

"You're kind of shady, huh." Sherlock raised his chin and looked at Bell intently, _Not bad at all._

Bell pursed his lips. "Shady, what do you mean?"

"You think I wouldn't notice?"

Bell fixed the tie that seemed to have started choking him, "I'm sure you notice a lot of things, Sherlock." Nervous sweat appearing on his forehead.

"Dinner, fancy restaurant, new suit, nervous-timid body signs and your body language,"

"What are you talking about?"

"This is a date."

Bell smirked. "What?"

"Don't pretend otherwise." Sherlock bit his lip. "Cheeky fellow." He raised his eyebrow.

"I don't have the faintest idea," He raised his hands, open palms.

Self defending. Sherlock pouted. A well mannered man with self respect _and_ a nice suit.

Too bad though, Sherlock didn't want any emotional attachment. He didn't want to be in any relationship. He didn't want a detective mauling over him. He had noticed the longing stares for a while now; it was a crush. After his last relationship with a man. Sherlock was afraid to be with any more love affairs with men.

"I'm sure you'll be paying for dinner?" he asked.

"Yes, of course." Bell said quickly.

"Thank you." Sherlock took another sip of his coke from the glass and picked up the dinner menu; smiling, he looked through it.

Bell watched silently. _Was he saved?_ The side of his lip twitched up and he sneaked a glance at Sherlock. The consultant was fidgeting. _Nerves, maybe Sherlock was alright with this_. Bell took a sip of his wine.

"Do you want to have sex after this?" Sherlock announced.

Bell almost spilled the wine in his hands. He swallowed hard and shook his head, "No,"

"I don't do relationships with men." He went back to reading his menu.

Bell's eyebrows rose. "You'll have sex but you won't do relationships?"

"Ahh – so, this _is_ a date!" Sherlock smiled triumphantly. "And yes!"

Bell flailed, _did he just admit it? Oh – he was such an idiot sometimes._ "Well," he cleared his throat, casually continuing, "Would you care to explain?"

"No." Sherlock dismissed.

"Huh."

"My place or your place?" Sherlock asked.

Bell shook his head, "No, I'm not _that_ kind of a guy."

A strange look passed Sherlock. He chewed his lip. He wasn't ready to move on, not yet. Bell was a nice guy. He wished Bell would still be a nice guy after a while. He needed to get himself together.

"I don't just want sex." Bell said, looking at Sherlock deeply. "I want a relationship and If you are not interested, I respect that. But you don't have to have sex with me just because I made a stupid mistake."

"Oh no." Sherlock shook his head. "I wasn't offering you sex just because you made a stupid mistake."

"Then?"

Sherlock had no clue. "I don't know."

Bell smiled. "Why don't we just have dinner and leave."

Sherlock agreed. "Using a double homicide as cover for this date was cute."

"Yah, I thought you'd like it."

Sherlock smiled.

* * *

**Why isn't there Bell in the drop down list?**

**thanks for reading. Just a small piece I wrote.  
**


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